I'm a pretty-much-straight male in a not-actually-married-but-basically-married open relationship. Not really interested in defining sexuality/gender because it all seems like a big amorphous blob to me. However, in the interest of maintaining this fantastic array of dazzling portmanteau and fun terminology, I am going to say:
I'm a FRUIT BAT, godzillasexual, in a mostly sea-worthy relationship.
Edit: And I would like to be addressed as such.