Originally Posted by Phy
I was searching for a solution for myself to handle his emotions the next time they hit me like some sledgehammer and be better prepared for it.
For me, it helps to first recognise it for what it is - "oh shit, this has really triggered something for him, he's letting off steam", curl up into myself and wait for him to get it all out... I keep aware of what he's saying, and my reactions to it... Sometimes I don't feel broken by anything because I see it for what it is (an extreme reaction, poorly phrased, whatever) but if I have been hurt by something he said, I bring it up in my response. "When you said that, it hurt me..." etc. He usually apologises and clarifies his words, and we end up discussing the issue itself in a relatively calm, cuddly way. Maybe a few more flares up of emotions but nothing that morphs the words we use into fire-breathing dragons