I second SNEacail above. I've been on the receiving end of this, like you. I am not the type to lash out in anger but was facing a partner verbally exploding with hatred on me, over something I'd triggered. It shattered me, sometimes still does, but I now know it is his way of letting off steam, and something he needs.. It's him expressing his reaction to something, and is part of the process of working it out, no more than that. It's coming from a place of deep hurt/anger, yes, but it's usually a momentary flash rather than bubbling up from a seething pit of resentment...
You know, you asked Lin if he felt wounded by anything you said... maybe it wasn't something you said, but the situation which pained him and triggered that response?
Glad you're learning more about each other's communication styles
I love the way you three seem to talk things out