Life has been seriously crazy. Moonlight was in Oregon December 20th - 23rd, so I had plenty of good Fly time. Then it went a little nuts! I spent the night of the 23rd with Moonlight, we had a great time watching a pretty epic Seahawks game together. Then lunch with Fly on the 24th, and later that day was my big family get-together. Spent that night with Fly, then went to his family Christmas at his sister's. When we got home that night, I dashed off to Moonlight's to spend the night on the 25th. Home again on the 26th, but Moonlight picked me up from work for a fancy romantic lunch on the 27th. Stayed home with Fly on the night of the 27th, then spent the night with Moonlight on the 28th! It was wonderful to be so balanced between them, but I got a little frazzled.
This weekend was spent with Fly, working in the yard. We're building a chicken coop and run (YAY!), and needed to dig some ditches so the yard will drain properly. It was nice to be home, with no obligations, to just dream about my garden and my chickens.
On New Year's Eve, Moonlight's friends had rented out a club near my house for a combo NYE/birthday party, and she invited Fly and I to go. It was wonderful!! I didn't know any of the music the DJ was playing, but Fly and Moonlight, both being older than me, were singing along, and joked all night about bringing their "baby" to the club. The three of us danced together, drank, and had a wonderful time. We all exchanged kisses at midnight, and it just felt so right to begin the new year with both my loves.
There are things about Moonlight and Fly that are very different, but they're also very alike in many ways. They get along together really well, and it's such a new and delightful feeling for me to see the people I care about caring about each other in a friendly way.
We had planned for Moonlight to stay at our house after the party, so she wouldn't have to drive home in the wee hours. Everyone was a little unsure of the sleeping plans. Moonlight gives me conflicting signals sometimes; she tells me that she doesn't want to sleep with anyone else, but then in the next breath she'll say that she really misses dick sometimes. I've told her that as far as I'm concerned, she can sleep with or have relationships with anyone she wants, but she doesn't seem to want that. I've also told her that Fly is always an option for fun penis sex if she wants, with or without me. I know that sounds like I'm pimping out my boyfriend, but he and I have discussed it and he's expressed his enthusiastic willingness to have sex with her again.
Anyway, she refused to tell me whether she wanted to fuck him on NYE or not, and kept telling me it was up to me. That kind of pissed me off, because it's not my place to tell her I want her to sleep with my boyfriend with me, and it's not something I really care about. It ended up that we all just went to bed, Fly in his room and Moonlight and I in mine. Fly had been awake for over 24 hours due to his job, and Moonlight and I were super sleepy. I went and snuggled with Fly for a little while before I went to bed, and again in the morning while Moonlight was sleeping. I felt bad that he slept alone, but we don't have a bed big enough for all of us, even just to sleep. I may have to invest in a California king - three is an awkward number at times.
So, the new year started with no sex, even though I had both my lovers under the same roof.
I know Fly would have been ok if I'd had sex with Moonlight, but it felt better to me to respect our boundaries, even though I had permission to break them.
One thing that came up between Moonlight and I is that I'm not very good at satisfying a girl.
Apparently, just when things get good, I stop or pull back. She asked me if I don't like sex with chicks, and it's not that - it's just that I don't know what I'm doing, and she doesn't give me a lot of feedback. I always think she's bored or that I'm not doing it for her, so I get hesitant. I know my way around a guy's body, but for some reason I'm unsure with a girl. Which is odd, because hello, I'm a girl!
We've both agreed to work on it, and I think the practicing should be fun.