Hi there! Guess I'll just dive right in. My name is Renee*, 24 years old, and newlywed. I have been with David* for about six years, and we've been married for less than a year. Our relationship was monogamous for the first three years, but we're a couple of perverts, so that didn't last.
We started being sexually active with other people with the #1 rule that we were most important to each other (CONDOMS, CONDOMS, CONDOMS also tied for first place).
Through our adventures with acquaintances and close friends, I've fallen in love with Allan*, a close friend of mine and David's (and he, with me). David was initially a little taken aback by the interest I had in moving things forward with Allan, but with openness, honesty, and reassurance that my love for David and my dedication to our commitment has not changed, things seem to be going well.
My biggest concern at this juncture is Allan's relative inexperience in these matters as well as his inability to properly express himself. I also sometimes worry that he may not be able to deal with sharing me in the long term, at which point I would have to end the relationship and lose something very close to me.
Allan is more jealous than David, and I suppose that makes sense, as David feels the (relative) security that comes from our being married, and is eight years Allan's senior. I also feel they have a lot in common and have a lot to offer one another by way of friendship and guidance. Allan has often come to David with his troubles and anger issues, and David always is able to comfort him when they have these talks. I love the unique love they have for one another.
David hopes to one day find a secondary relationship as I have, but it hasn't happened for him yet.
What I hope to gain by using this forum:
I live in a small town. I don't know anyone with any sort of similar situation. I sometimes feel like the ring leader of this circus, as both David and Allan probably would not have sought out this type of situation without my influence. I have no major communication problems with my husband or my boyfriend, but I sometimes wish I had access to a more external, unbiased dialogue. I occaisonally feel isolated by the problems and joys that come with this territory- something I hope to remedy here. I also worry about the longevity of my relationships ("this can't possibly work out in the long run, can it? Am I just hurting Allan? Is this fair to David?" Etc.) and hope to gain some encouragement here.
If you made it down this far, I thank you for your time!