Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter
Trust is something that relies on faith, at least where I'm concerned. At this point, knowing will not change anything. Trust is something that you do. This is one situation where fake it til you make it works.
Good point BD. Thank you.
I am managing much better now. I have been paranoid a few times and fear rises. I'm mostly paranoid about his phone and him receiving messages from women he is arranging to meet up with without my knowledge. I know it will take time and its helped to just be honest about it. He's shown me his phone and that everything on it is what he says it is. I know things can be erased and moved though but I don't allow myself to put my head there. It will take time and faith (as you say BD).
New years last night was a good one. Relaxed, lots of good people whom I love and know well. Lots of hugs and love. I was grateful. I was emotional and in pain, but today I feel as if I purged it somehow. I enjoyed Mono laughing and goofing around with Brad, watching Derby flit about, dancing, chatting with old friends and crashing at 2am. PN decided to go to a musical event and I missed him, but he had a great time and we all did what we wanted.