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Old 12-31-2012, 03:53 PM
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UpsideDown UpsideDown is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 61

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
What a lot of people do is just ignore responses they don't find helpful, especially if you tell them that you don't find it helpful and they respond again in a way that doesn't make you feel they understand what you are saying.
I'm seeing that is the case here. I've not had that experience in the rest of my internet life, so that wasn't my default setting. I just can't understand why someone would feel a need to keep pushing when they've been told that their advice to a stranger is being ill received.

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
Sometimes other people's communication styles are just vastly different than ours. I didn't think he was being condescending, or anything at all for what it's worth, just trying to be helpful coming from his own experiences. When you ask for advice on public forums, your responses will run the gamut and you can't really do anything about that.
Entirely possible.

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
#1 not everybody will read all the posts you have written before responding to a thread, and #2, right or wrong, people may assume that if you're talking about a romantic relationship that sex is either a component, or something you would like to be involved at some point (also lots of people don't read follow up clarifications, so if you say it further along, they might not even see it and only be responding to your original post). I happened to make that assumption myself from your first post.
I wish I had been able to edit and incorporate information from posts down-thread into the original, once it became clear, but I wasn't ware of how to phrase it best. I'm new, and still getting the hang of both this online community and its best practices.

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
Anyway, I hope misunderstandings dont keep you from feeling free to post and ask anything you want. Hopefully you aren't still worrying that it's bad you aren't comfortable with him having the same sort of relationship you do when he says he is fine with it, but if you are, that is a good thing to work on in either individual or joint counseling. Maybe you'll find this article helpful.
Thank you for the link. We're searching our insurance for a poly-friendly therapist, just for the ability to talk these things out with a disinterested third party, and we've signed up for a local poly-workshop. We shall see how that goes.
29, married to DH, the best guy in the world. 2 kids, dog, house with fence.
Developed a fast and accidental crush on then-best-friend, CG (cute-girl) and world fell apart after telling said girl. Came here for advice and info in case it became a thing. It didn't, but the friendship exploded. Turned world a bit upside-down, hence the moniker. ::sigh::
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