If it's any consolation at all, one of the more common reactions we have had when we have "come out" to friends is to pity my mono partner, and assume that she is "putting up with it" for whatever reason, but is definitely the injured party. I think she has spent more time putting that misunderstanding to rest than anything else when it comes to explaining poly.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb