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Old 12-31-2012, 03:31 AM
toodles toodles is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4

Hi sparkle. I follow your threads and I'm sorry to hear your girlfriend has split with her other lover. Firstly, I know you came looking for advice on how to help her and I'll get to that in a minute. But I have to say, it really wasn't fair of her to put you in that position and basically cheat you out of keeping his confidence. It's not fair that you betrayed your friend to help her and now, worst of all, she's throwing it back at you. It sounds to me that she's either a bit manipulative (sorry) or she's not in touch with her emotions, if she didn't know she loved him and if she's asking you to leave her alone, then having a go at you when you try to.

Its really hard to help someone who shuts down. My ex used to do that and not in a calm way. Any time she was upset or angry about anything, she'd take it out on me. I never understood it, so I don't know how to help you. But in terms of what you can do for her, if its her normal way of dealing with things then leave her to it. There's nothing you can do all the way over there. Just send her a message later or tomorrow and remind her that you are there. If she starts lashing out at you, just back off. Eventually she'll calm down. When she does, if she still seems to blame you, maybe you can talk to her about that. The way I see it, its not your fault. If they were drifting for so long, why didn't they do anything about it? Its not your problem that they couldnt communicate and had to go through you, but shes making it your problem by taking it out on you. That sucks. I'm sorry. You must be a really patient person to want to help her. I think just be there for her and offer her words of love and see if she comes round.
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