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Old 12-30-2012, 05:00 PM
BlueDragonfly BlueDragonfly is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: MA
Posts: 21
Default How to be mono when you are poly...


I came out as poly to my husband about 8 months ago. We went through several emotions at first, as expected. We began to communicate better than we ever had and it felt so good to be able to talk about how I felt. He is mono, through and through, which I respect greatly. However, I don't think he accepts me as poly. We have a closed relationship, which I am doing for him. I don't want to force my lifestyle choices on him.

But now, we never talk about it anymore, I bring it up and he changes the subject, sweeps it right under the rug. I know he felt hurt at first, I get that, but what I don't get is how, if he loves me, he wouldn't want to at least learn about it, to better understand me.

I have tried not to push the subject, I have tried to let him comes to terms with it but now it's just the elephant in the room....

I am just not sure if I can do this... for me, I am stuck, trapped, unable to be me, especially since I feel like I have to hide who I am. And I am sure, if he were to allow the relationship to be open, then he woud feel the same way I am feeling right now... stuck, trapped.

I am just not sure where to go from here.... either way someone gets hurt.. where is their a happy medium? Is there? Or is one of us going to be secretly miserable...

Any advice would be great, I am sure some of you have been where I am. I truly don't feel like I can be mono for the rest of my life, it is not who I am. I don't want to just give up on my marriage, I love him very much, but if I can never be me then I am afraid I will grow to resent our relationship....

Help? I just feel like I can't breathe anymore...
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