Thread: How to explain
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Old 12-30-2012, 06:04 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 422
Default There is no recipe for doing right

and it's really sad that there is such a large portion of society that condone persecution of a way people choose to live because it isn't considered traditional. The most obvious cases of flat out wrong behavior is when someone comes out to their family and the reaction is to be shunned but previous to coming out the family had no problem what so ever. But because there are people like that in the world, I firmly believe coming out means all parties involved need to make a unanimous decision is the only responsible way to decide to out themselves.

Exactly how to do it?

Unfortunately because of flawed logic and persecution the most successful way involves being misleading, and that really sucks because I strive to not be, but it really can make a difference and this is why I have come to believe this:

If your situation is such that the people you are coming out to have basic knowledge about your living situation, however the details they are unaware of is the intimacy with more than one partner and in withholding that detail about the intimacy, your family has no problem with the way you are living or better yet view your life as perfectly respectable, this puts you in the best possible scenario for your family to remain supportive with the knowledge that your habitual intimacy with others is non-traditional.

If everything was hunkydory before the non-traditional detail, that is one of the best ways to enlighten others that their beliefs and core values are flawed should they suddenly label your life as wrong. There are so many excuses and justifications people use to hold on to an old, and frankly bigoted or hateful belief system. It's OK for another to not agree with your choices, but to use that as a justification to persecute or discriminate is so flat out wrong it fits the definition of criminal or evil.

If you had their blessing before you came out, that is in my view the strongest place you can reveal yourself from because it is the best thing to wake people up from the strong grip of denial and justification of flawed logic.

And if that doesn't work, there is nothing you could have done differently that would have worked. And if that is the case, the way the world changes takes quite a long time and depends on courageous people to lead the way and carry on despite of any shit the world dishes out. That is why it is important to always support those who are willing to do it, and be an example by refusing to remain silent when you witness any shit being dished out from anywhere. This is also why it is important to have as much support from mono-people who have a firm understanding of what constitutes deciding the difference between right and wrong. This is also the reason I believe it is necessary to support the LGBT struggle to get governments to refuse to sponsor discrimination (ie support gay marriage)

I realize I went off topic, and to try to answer your question, I guess I would say to just be strong and resolute. Do not tolerate any negative or otherwise derogatory behavior towards you or your loved ones and hopefully you will be able to count on those who know in their heart that there is nothing about you that is wrong for living your life the way that works for you. It really makes a difference when people will speak up and choose to not accept derogatory speech anywhere about anyone when it comes to matters such as these because when we do not, it condones flat out wrong behavior.

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 12-30-2012 at 06:12 AM. Reason: typos
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