Sleep is proving somewhat difficult for me just now. I miss my old love and the house contains constant reminders of him.
So today I sat for a while in a pub and wrote about him and the life we had together. I reminded myself of the good times and I smiled. People in the pub came and talked to me and I was glad of the connection. I took my young love, C, with me and his presence encouraged people to come and engage with both of us.
I was at work this week for 2 days and was amazed at how lovely people were. We talked lots about my loss and about the problems that my work colleagues face just now. The colleague I sit next to hugged me when he saw me - an unusual event. We are not a profession who hug each other much and my colleague is a somewhat difficult man - we think he may be a little autistic. But he cares about me and he made sure that he showed that which was beautifully warming.
C, my SO, my family and friends continue to be sources of love, help and support to me. I hope I am continuing to be for them.
My feelings of being connected to and surrounded by love have only grown since the death of my old love.
What a gift he was in my life.