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Old 12-30-2012, 02:33 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

Originally Posted by UpsideDown View Post
I disagree with your whole premise, although I understand what you are saying. I feel we more took the lid of a box, stared at the innards, and decided to lift one thing out to try on as a possibility. If that doesn't fit, there's nothing that says we need to revisit the box. The same as people who decide to try some form of BDSM play in their world, and find it doesn't work for them, have no obligation to stay in the kink world.
It probably isn't helpful to keep trying to pick apart everything River said. Lots of people give advice others don't agree with, I'd suggest just letting it go. It's a public forum, if you aren't open to a a wide variety of feedback, then asking for advice probably isn't something you will want to do much of.

I believe it's true, whether or not you ever act on anything after opening the box and looking inside, things HAVE changed a bit, in what you know and think of each other. Just like now that you have told CG how you feel, things can never go back to the way they were if you never told her, because you both are aware that things are different than they were. So you might not revisit the box, but everybody knows what was in the box, and life looks a bit different today than it did before y'all saw what was there.

I believe unequal rules work fine as long as everybody involved is happy with the set up. Obviously if you would like to go to the 1/2 mile with CG but are only comfortable with him getting to the 1/3 mile mark with anybody, there may be more risk that someday down the road he will want to join you in having a relationship that can go to the 1/2 mile mark. All you can really do is take him at his word when he says how he feels and what he wants now and hope he will speak up if he wants something, or if something bothers him.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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