Originally Posted by NovemberRain
That was kind of snotty. You asked for a bit of feedback. I didn't see that river said any such thing, you are quite imagining that.
I did ask for feedback, and he gave some. I thanked him for it, and explained my situation a bit further, including the fact that DH has boundaries for me in my possible relationship with CG, and reiterating that DH has not, as yet, expressed an interest in ever having an additional relationship...but that my questions were:
a) is it something I should be thinking about ahead of time, as both a mental exercise and as a a way to be able to offer DH a well-thought out, unrushed assessment of my feelings and needs should it some up later?
b) in *this* world, which is not really the world in which we live, is there a prescribed way of going about the situation where the partner who asks for an opening, no matter how small, cannot handle the idea of their primary partner in another relationship. Does it matter if the non-instigating partner is (currently) of a mono mindset, or if they'd more interested in exploration rather than relationship and that's troubling to the opening partner?
River responded with a load of high-minded philosophy (which, I take it, is his thing), about how the life my husband and I have so far enjoyed is now, somehow, irrevocably, changed, and that our best shot is to become able to "champion one another in joyous celebreation" of our other (eventual) relationships.
He offered no anecdote, statistic, advice, or functional theory other than "once you've taken a step down this road, you are on this road forever." Hogwash.