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Old 12-29-2012, 05:28 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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chewy, this is a quite chewy thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
Most broadly, I want to explore and discuss intimacy -- the word and the experience. More narrowly, I'd also like to convey to the interested reader / participant my own tendency in framing intimacy.
So, are you interested in others' frames as well? Or having the discussion within your frame?

Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
Here are some initial hints of my own tendency in framing intimacy. This is the distilled version.:

I tend to think of intimacy (broadly) as "closeness" combined with affection and/or appreciation, warmth, kindness ... along with a willingness to be unguarded, and/or spontanious..., and "vulnerable".
I suffer quite a bit from thinking and wanting to think without being very specific or precise. I tend to think with my feelings (which I'm certain makes no sense at all, but I do that).

Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
I tend to think of intimacy in relation to knowledge, both in terms of familiarity / knowing and not-knowing. Not-knowing, here, has a sort of "zen" flavor. Not-knowing, here, does not refer to a lack of factual knowledge so much as a willingness to encounter the other/s with a sense of wonder and openness. Further, my tendency is to frame "intimacy" in light of my notion that we can't really be "intimate" (in this frame) without a sense of "wonder" and "mystery," a sense of one's self and the other as largely unknown (or even largely unknowable). Again, "knowledge" here is of the factual / cognitive sort -- which, arguably, is not the only kind of "knowing".
I like that, and it works for me as a frame. I'm a little confused, you say it does not refer to lack of factual knowledge, and then you say knowledge is factual knowledge.

When I was a teen, I wasn't incredibly discriminating, and even more undisciplined in thought than i am now. Intimacy was what happened when clothes were off (or right before they came off). I subscribed to the notion of the 'one' and that he would be my everything. I quickly discovered that was a useless premise. And then I discovered girls.

What I am currently discovering is how amazingly deep I can feel, how close, and yet be so full of not-knowing my partners. I feel like they will be eternal mysteries to me, I will never fully know them; and that's one of the things that inspires me to continue.

It used to be frustrating, I felt I had to know, and I had to know everything, and right now, plz. Now, it's very okay (some days more than others) to not-know, and enjoy the anticipation of exploring and finding out.
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Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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