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Old 12-29-2012, 05:28 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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chewy, this is a quite chewy thread.

Originally Posted by River View Post
Most broadly, I want to explore and discuss intimacy -- the word and the experience. More narrowly, I'd also like to convey to the interested reader / participant my own tendency in framing intimacy.
So, are you interested in others' frames as well? Or having the discussion within your frame?

Originally Posted by River View Post
Here are some initial hints of my own tendency in framing intimacy. This is the distilled version.:

I tend to think of intimacy (broadly) as "closeness" combined with affection and/or appreciation, warmth, kindness ... along with a willingness to be unguarded, and/or spontanious..., and "vulnerable".
I suffer quite a bit from thinking and wanting to think without being very specific or precise. I tend to think with my feelings (which I'm certain makes no sense at all, but I do that).

Originally Posted by River View Post
I tend to think of intimacy in relation to knowledge, both in terms of familiarity / knowing and not-knowing. Not-knowing, here, has a sort of "zen" flavor. Not-knowing, here, does not refer to a lack of factual knowledge so much as a willingness to encounter the other/s with a sense of wonder and openness. Further, my tendency is to frame "intimacy" in light of my notion that we can't really be "intimate" (in this frame) without a sense of "wonder" and "mystery," a sense of one's self and the other as largely unknown (or even largely unknowable). Again, "knowledge" here is of the factual / cognitive sort -- which, arguably, is not the only kind of "knowing".
I like that, and it works for me as a frame. I'm a little confused, you say it does not refer to lack of factual knowledge, and then you say knowledge is factual knowledge.

When I was a teen, I wasn't incredibly discriminating, and even more undisciplined in thought than i am now. Intimacy was what happened when clothes were off (or right before they came off). I subscribed to the notion of the 'one' and that he would be my everything. I quickly discovered that was a useless premise. And then I discovered girls.

What I am currently discovering is how amazingly deep I can feel, how close, and yet be so full of not-knowing my partners. I feel like they will be eternal mysteries to me, I will never fully know them; and that's one of the things that inspires me to continue.

It used to be frustrating, I felt I had to know, and I had to know everything, and right now, plz. Now, it's very okay (some days more than others) to not-know, and enjoy the anticipation of exploring and finding out.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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