I'm sorry you came to poly the way you did. The whole situation (cheating and lying) sucks. I'm also sorry your husband can't seem to respect boundaries that the two of you have agreed upon.
This is the gf who is m-to-f, right? Just making sure I have the stories straight.
In my new and never-very-humble opinion, this woman is untrustworthy, as she breaks all her promises to all her partners. I would tell that to your husband and, if you have veto power, I'd kick this woman out of your life. If you don't, I'd strongly suggest that your husband do it.
29, married to DH, the best guy in the world. 2 kids, dog, house with fence.
Developed a fast and accidental crush on then-best-friend, CG (cute-girl) and world fell apart after telling said girl. Came here for advice and info in case it became a thing. It didn't, but the friendship exploded. Turned world a bit upside-down, hence the moniker. ::sigh::