Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray
Totally get this.
Probably. But maybe you can take some comfort in the fact that this is all abstract for you right now. You can tie your stomach in knots imagining it, but you really don't know how you'd feel if it came up. You're only guessing.
I guess I feel like it is only fair for me to think about it, even a bit, as he's done so much mental work on this for me. Here's what I've come up with so far.
* I'd be less panicked if DH had any interest in dating a guy. Yeah, I know, it is somewhat sexist of me, but there's a degree of separation there for me in that a M/M relationship would be so totally different than what he and I have, by necessity.
* In theory, if I don't think about it or envision it too much, there are things he has done with other girlfriends (kissing, touching, making-out) that I wouldn't be as viscerally opposed to. Sex (oral or otherwise) makes my heart hurt.
* In a disconnected vein, I suppose if he wanted a D/s relationship with someone else, that didn't involve sex, I'd be willing to consider that, too...even though that's a thing only he and I have done together up-'til-now. Him topping someone else doesn't set off the 5-alarm panic that him fucking someone else does.
* I want him to have a really close friend, male or female, even if it it meant less time with me. Someone who wants to go running or kayaking or all the other things I am not interested in (or don't have time for). The emotional closeness isn't where I freak.
* I don't mind that he finds other women attractive. Hell, I'm happy when he shares that. I'm giddy when other women think he's hot. I just don't want them to "have" him.
I know that an "equal" partnership doesn't necessarily mean everyone getting the same thing, it means everyone getting what they need, but I'm trying not to be unjust and selfish either as he's a much more physical and sexual person than I, by nature.