Originally Posted by redpepper
I have to go through my emotions and pick them apart until there is nothing left to gnaw on. I think that is the only way I can see to be able to get to a place of peace.
These words suggest (to my mind) a bit of harshness toward your thoughts and feelings, an attitude of self-rejection. Well, it's okay to want to change, but all the good advisors on such matters seem to echo the same point: Acceptance and self-compassion are a necessary preliminary part of the process of healing change. See for example Tara Brach's excellent book, "Radical Acceptance". She advocates self acceptance (and self-compassion) as a sort of necessay component of self-intimacy leading to freedom to change. Brilliant stuff.