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Old 12-27-2012, 08:35 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,968

Originally Posted by Feynman View Post
Notably, I go off the deep end when it comes to jealousy--extremely hypocritical--at least when it comes to other males. It's probably deeply-rooted insecurities of some kind, but I'm not exactly looking to fix that about myself as it hasn't caused any problems for me yet
I commend you for recognizing this about yourself, and acknowledging it openly to others. And you are correct in that as your girlfriend is currently mono, this isn't something you have to 'fix' right away. Other's have suggested looking around here - there is a ton of stuff about jealousy and also specifically about men not wanting their female partners to have sex/relationships/connections with other men. (Do a tag search for OPP - One Penis Policy - to get you started looking at those threads.)

And it seems like you know that this may well be a problem for you at some point. You're right. Even if your girlfriend never expresses any interest in another man, this deeply held set of beliefs may bite you in the ass anyway. I say 'set of beliefs' because it is my belief that this form of jealousy may be connected to a wider grouping of beliefs about yourself, what 'men' are and how they should act, what 'women' are and do, how they are 'supposed to' interact, and so on. Those underlying beliefs may influence you and how you view her and your relationship in ways that are not easily seen. And things that are not easy to detect - in my experience - are the ones that can torpedo relationships. Of course, this may not true for you at all. But I encourage you to do what you are already starting out to do and deeply examine these feelings of jealousy. It can only help you, even if you and she remain monogamous.
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