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Old 12-27-2012, 07:45 AM
Numina Numina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 139
Default Busy Busy

This week and weekend have been busy, and this next week, and weekend are looking to be just as busy if not more so.

Airyn and I have been really working on some of our communication mishaps, and working out where we want things to go from here. We talked early last night (Sunday evening) about how breaks up work. His belief is that girls generally want to still be friends, while guys tend to want nothing to do with their ex-lover. I told him that if that is the case then I'm on the more guyish side then the girlish one. I also told him that that was exactly what I said to him right after breaking things off with Chipmunk, and pointed out that it was him who asked me not to burn that bridge completely down.

That will likely take him a bit of thinking about before he truly grasps where I'm at. He acknowledged later that same night (As I'm leaving for work) that I have been patience for me, since I'm generally not a patience person. I told him that while he says I've had "spots of patients" that I have not once gotten up in Chipmunk's face about any of the things that frustrate me, and that for me this is patience. I admit that he has had to deal with those issues, and hear about them from me regularly.

He's also ready to tackle Chipmunk's Jealousy issues. He and I talked about it, and I explained that jealousy is an internal issue within Chipmunk, and has nothing to do with anything Airyn is doing. That it is Chipmunk's insecurities that make her jealous not something he is doing that he shouldn't be. I offered him a really good online resource for him to read over, and suggested that he read it with Chipmunk so that they can start working on this. She really needs to just be OK with Airyn and I doing things together. She gets upset when he and I go out for time to ourselves. Like Saturday, it was agreed that it would be a day Airyn and I spend together. Chipmunk decided to go out for lunch with her family. While she was out Airyn and I headed out to do some shopping. He messaged Chipmunk to let her know we were headed out, so she wouldn't be surprised if/when she got home and we weren't there. He told her up front that we'd be gone a couple hours, but would be home with plenty of time to get her to work. She got all pissy/moody, and said she'd just walk to work. Which set Airyn off, and had him a bit stressed where he's telling me he really needs to talk with her about that attitude. I agree, and tell him it's really time for her to get past this stuff.

I told him that I'm really sick of me being OK with every new thing we try, and her being very unhappy/uncomfortable with it. We talked extensively about things that I've suggested that Chipmunk benefits from, but isn't OK with returning the favor for me. I pointed out that I can't tell when it is her who is uncomfortable or if it is him. That because of how these things come up and are expressed it feels like he's the one who is uncomfortable, but that I think it's actually Chipmunk. So Tonight (Sunday night/Monday morning) while I was sleeping, and while I'm working Airyn is talking with her about this. He tells me that she's doing her usually negative reaction at the beginning, and that they are just getting started talking about. He says right now she is really just telling him how she feels, and he's expressing the things he and I have talked about and telling her that she HAS to get past this, and be OK.

One thing that he explained he has talked with her about: He told her that her getting to curl up cuddle, and such every weekday night with him is a huge perk in her favor. He asked her if she realized this. She acknowledged that she did, but said that when she has a room separate from me that she'd willingly give some of those nights up to have more daytime hours alone with Airyn. I told him ok, but what about right now? He said he'd talk to her about it more, reminding me that they are just getting started. He did tell me that he reminded her that for the first 3 months she has lived with us I was getting about 10 hours of alone time with Airyn per week, and that these past couple weeks is the closest he and I have gotten to having equal time together compared to him and her having time. Telling her that she is uncomfortable with he and I getting equal time, and that he and I have not once had more time then the two of them. From what he said this was the first time that she actually thought about this from a different perspective. He said she listened, and just nodded her head, no counter argument or attempt at justification.

I'm interested in hearing how the conversation progresses, and to see how things proceed from here.



Well, that's my update.

Monday we are going to a Christmas eve party at a good friends house after Chipmunk gets off from work. I have Monday night off from work, and intend to have fun with my friend and his family. Tuesday should be more relaxing, Chipmunk is spending the majority of the day with her family, and I have to work that night so I'll be getting to bed earlish. Thursday is actually my birthday, but I have no plans (which is normal). Airyn and I haven't really celebrated birthdays in a long time. We decided that we'd make one day this coming week special, but not really birthday orientated. Saturday we are taking our kid to spend a week with her grandmother. We are meeting her in Hot Springs which is a little over 4 hours driving for us, so about an 8 hour round trip. We've decided to spend the night in Hot Spring when we pick our kid back up the following weekend.
__________________
Bi-sexual female

Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).

No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.

Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
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