The amount of hurt from her stopping all this has just pained me too much. We are going to counseling, but honestly it is more like divorce counseling. No she has not filed yet.
Did my secondary cause the rift? Yes....and yet no at the same time. If you had two children which do you sacrifice? If one actually asked you to save them and let the other die, you'd probably save the other. I loved them both, but asking me to stop my love for one has torn me apart enough that I dont know that I can stay with her. There is too much hurt and resentment that now comes out between us. All the kids do is see us argue. And yes, I still love my secondary with all my heart. I never cheated on my wife in my entire life....but asking me to stop this has caused it to turn to that to some degree. I'm sorry I know that's awful, but at this point I will probably end up with my secondary as a primary relationship. I doubt either of us would enter into something like this again. We were both happy the way things were, but I dont think either of us can live happy like this.