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Old 12-26-2012, 11:34 PM
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UpsideDown UpsideDown is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 61
Default Frustrating

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Breathe, breathe. You don't have to know all the answers this minute. Some things take some time to manifest or to unfold.
Yeah. I am breathing. This is just a lot new and a little discombobulating.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
It's normal to feel discombobulated. There's no map here. No template. No guide. You and your people are figuring it all out on the DIY and until you find "the new normal" it is natural to feel a bit "unreal" about it all.
Not having rules or structure is hard for me, in any situation. I like maps and templates and guides, and do not like re-inventing the wheel. Seems I have no choice in that, but until we figure out our own rules and map, I suppose.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Why is it not possible to return to friendship and not pursue the romance with CG? If that is what you prefer?
l
Because I think I'm more scared than not wanting to pursue it. I didn't want to be open to this, but I can't deny that I want it (whatever it eventually becomes). Pretending it isn't in my head seems like a lie, and DH is all kinds of encouraging. I just don't know what she wants, because she hasn't started figuring that out yet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Who needs to know the label? Does it matter? Can you just make up a word for yourself?
I need a word or label, because my mono-ID seems to have fallen apart-ish, and I don't feel like "poly" fits, really. I know many poly words, "compersion" for one, are made up, but I feel silly doing that. I had "monogamish" suggested, and it seems flip.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
What's all this anxiety stemming from? What is it you need to hear from either her or him or BOTH to be able to calm down? What reassure?
I need to hear from her, and I need to get over my Baptist-induced guilt/shame over the thing, and worries that DH will become upset, even though he isn't now. She's thinking about it, and what we have is nice, and I'd be fine if it stayed at holding-hands and occasional kisses, but it's still very middle-school awkward for me.

Nights like yesterday, or the time DH and I and she and her BF went to our family birthday party for my son, are reassuring.
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29, married to DH, the best guy in the world. 2 kids, dog, house with fence.
Developed a fast and accidental crush on then-best-friend, CG (cute-girl) and world fell apart after telling said girl. Came here for advice and info in case it became a thing. It didn't, but the friendship exploded. Turned world a bit upside-down, hence the moniker. ::sigh::
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