I, too, apologize that I didn't get back to your thread sooner. Somehow it got lost in the shuffle, but now that I've read your longer post, I, also, am amazed. I'm amazed at the generous love you've shown to all concerned, your wife, Dan, and the kids. It is great that your son came around and accepted it despite his initial reaction.
I am sure you'll encounter other bumps in the road from time to time, but as long as you keep the doors of communication open, you will probably come out fine. Sounds like Dan is a pretty okay guy. All of you are fortunate.
Concerning your injury, do you feel like you are not getting as much, well, sex, with your wife as you would want to have? I mean, do you feel shortchanged in that way? You can disregard these questions if they're too personal.
Thank you for sharing your story, it is very uplifting.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"