Originally Posted by ahpook33
You do sound like you are poly to me, because you are open to the idea of a romantic relationship with your friend, and not keeping secrets about it from your (husband? Boyfriend?). You're poly, but you're extremely choosy as well.
Poly has never meant slutty, but of course occasionally some people are. I don't think it is "poly" that makes you uncomfortable. Probably some negative connotations that got mistakenly attached to the word somewhere along the way. Any idea what those connotations might be?
Husband. And yeah, I'm really choosy when it comes to both friends and...whatever this all is. I dated on guy before I married DH, and this is the first "other" to come up since then.
I don't think it is necessarily negative connotations with poly that make me not feel like it suits. I think that the open-door, "autonomy is the greater good" type of outlooks don't really fit me. However, that doesn't mean they are negative. It also isn't that I think poly means slutty...I surely wouldn't describe CG or her BF that way. Okay, maybe her BF, but only to his face and in jest. It's just that sex is SO important to me, wrapped up in layers of love and promise and vulnerability and spirituality and connection...that it isn't something I've ever done with someone other than DH. Ever. The fact that I'm even considering something even semi-sexual with CG is a huge thing, and I can't see "casual dating" as a part of that for me (or him)...so the local poly-dating-snugglefest-makeout sessions that occur around here don't really fit either, you know?
29, married to DH, the best guy in the world. 2 kids, dog, house with fence.
Developed a fast and accidental crush on then-best-friend, CG (cute-girl) and world fell apart after telling said girl. Came here for advice and info in case it became a thing. It didn't, but the friendship exploded. Turned world a bit upside-down, hence the moniker. ::sigh::