Thread: My new Ai-jin
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:08 PM
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ramfish ramfish is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 47

J- came over yesterday after work, which meant he came over at 6am. =p He slept here as best as he could (our cats refused to let us sleep). I thought we had a pretty good day, though it did seem a little short because he had to leave by 5 and we slept until 11. I was unreasonably crabby at the end of the day because I knew he had to leave and I didn't want him to go.

He started lecturing me saying 'you've been acting all depressed for the last hour or so and I won't let you now stop it.' >.> When HP came home he and J- both made fun of me for my pouty behavior. It admit, it was pretty childish; and toward the end there I think I was more mad at myself for being pouty he had to go than at him for having to go. (I hope that makes sense...)

J- has a completely different take on things than HP, which HP and I talked about yesterday. This all sounds really terrible when I say it out loud, but I would like to reflect on it. Hopefully it doesn't make me or HP sound too bad. Basically HP lets me get away with a lot. By get away with I mean he really isn't very good at telling me no, which I've gotten used to over the years. It's bad, and kinda both of our faults. I blame myself for not having the discipline to not tell myself no...

By 'no' I mean for mostly little things. Like...I want to go out to dinner, and HP says no we can't or no I don't want to...but it doesn't last very long and soon he's finding a way to say yes. It's kinda hard to explain really...since it's so ingrained into our relationship that I hardly notice when it's happening, but I know that it does. The dichotomy is apparent, however, when I run into situations like that with J- and he puts his foot down and tells me no. It almost makes me do a double take. Like...wait...what? I don't get what I want? This never happens.

And as much as I pout, or cry, or feel hurt when he does it...I know something else. It's really good for me. I need something like this, so even if I fight it, I'm glad J- is that way with me.
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