Originally Posted by mrcalzon02
we should have a thick hide about this(it is the internet were talking to.) but it still hurts when you insult or be little us. we came here for advice and to share in what might lie ahead.
Perhaps the advice you've just received is to point out how you may very well be coming across to women you proposition.
we have discovered the much desired option of having and raising a child is not going to be a choice with the wife. ...we would need to seek out other's who might help us, not to mention we both enjoy the idea of having another lover in our life.
To me, this DOES sound like you want a fun sex toy for the two of you that can also give you (the two of you) the baby you want.
If you approached me saying this, my answer would be...no. No. And NO again. It would sound to me very much exactly like what Schrodinger's Cat said. I would very much believe that you were asking me to bear a child FOR YOU AND YOUR WIFE, not my own child.
Like a critique of writing or music or acting you're about to put out in the world...isn't it better to hear it HERE than hear from the rest of your town, from your family, your co-workers, from people who know you, that this woman is telling everyone how it felt to her? If you think you feel bad hearing it from a stranger on the internet, how are you going to feel hearing it from family, friends, and co-workers?
If this is NOT what you're looking for, if we're off base, it would be helpful to you, to clarify your own thoughts by explaining HERE, before you try to explain to other women in your town, exactly what you really want.
As you say, this would be HER child as well as yours. Any time she wants to pack up and leave, that child likely goes with her. Are you ready for that? For the legal issues that could ensue? For paying child support for a child who might be living in New York or Hawaii?
Why not adopt a child? Why not hire a surrogate? Why not a child where YOU AND YOUR WIFE are the legal parents, rather than you and another woman, who has a life, thoughts, feelings, and will of her own?