Originally Posted by nycindie
You wouldn't be "adding her to your relationship," like adding a pickle to your sandwich. She's a person, not a condiment, after all. You would each be starting a new relationship with her. It doesn't sound like you have the time, capacity, energy, or inspiration to do that. You have bigger concerns right now. I think what your husband is looking for is an escape from the stress. It would be unfair to use another person for that, even if she wants it. You should both be focused on your son, not threesomes. I suggest you look into some sort of couples counseling, and examine how caregiving is affecting you.
That was not quite what I intended by that statement. Think of two points versus three. With two points, it takes one line to connect them. With three points, it takes three lines. Three relationships are more complicated than one.
I have asked the husband to go to family therepy but he refused. In his words, the problems will go away once the boy learns to get himself under control. He has also expressed doubt about the effectiveness of the therepist our son sees to work on social and emotional skills.
I have no one that I can discuss this with until the next semester starts. You seem angry that I posted here, I'm sorry, I did not intend to upset anyone. I was looking for advice and got some.