Originally Posted by Mathulu
. . . we need to have a frank discussion about whether adding someone to our relationship is a complication that is worth dealing with at this time.
You wouldn't be "adding her to your relationship," like adding a pickle to your sandwich. She's a person, not a condiment, after all. You would each be starting a new relationship with her. It doesn't sound like you have the time, capacity, energy, or inspiration to do that. You have bigger concerns right now. I think what your husband is looking for is an escape from the stress. It would be unfair to use another person for that, even if she wants it. You should both be focused on your son, not threesomes. I suggest you look into some sort of couples counseling, and examine how caregiving is affecting you.