Okay, I hear where you're coming from now. I agree, if I can see signs that someone is trying, I'm far more likely to be patient.
For me, I'm closer to "one strike" with certain behaviours. In the early stages of a relationship, I have a tendency to assume that if you'll do something hurtful once, you'll probably do it repeatedly. Sure, mistakes happen. But I'm pretty good at telling the difference between someone being careless once, and just being an inconsiderate person in general. I don't give the latter a lot of leeway.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."