Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
There are two kinds of "I want" at play here. There's "what I want from you" and "what I want to do for myself."
"ask for what she wants" and "expect to receive what she wants" apply only to things she might want from others. They're under no obligation to meet her wants.
You always have the right to meet your wants to the best of the ability. You never have the right to insist on others meeting your wants. If their wants coincide with yours, great. If not, too bad, get over it.
Totally agree with this! Just couldn't get it to words in my earlier post (which may sound contradictory to this but I don't see it as such).
One thing is wants (from others), another is personal boundaries (wants for myself). The first is something you ask for, and may or may not get it. The latter is something you don't need to ask for, it is something you enforce for yourself.