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Old 12-24-2012, 06:34 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,278

I've been reading this thread with interest and relating so much, since I experienced much of the same.

One thing you said, how your libido died for your husband when he wouldn't accept your polyamorous nature... yep. yep, yep. My ex didnt even accept I was bi, or outgoing, and would even get insanely jealous for the silliest things... if I talked "too long" to a guy at a party, if I danced with someone, even if I got a celebrity crush.

But however, like you, we had the large house with our renovations and fruit trees and gardens, the kids, even a huge teepee in the side yard for his spiritual group meetings. I gave it all up because I literally felt like the bird in the gilded cage. And I didn't regret it! We tried. We did couples therapy many times over our 30 years together, and individual as well. We even tried poly together, but it all came out wrong. Breaking up was the best thing for me. Not for him. He lost all the domestic comforts I bring. And the awesome sex. I brought my domestic skills and sexual skills to my own small cute apartment and never looked back! He has a gf too, but did struggle, as he told me, after our split. But, hell, he was depressed before! And jealous as well. At least my poly relationships are not in his face now.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62) loving Pixie (poly, F, 40) since January 2009, living together since 2013
Seeing Kahlo (polyish, M, 45)
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's Dom/bf for 3+ years
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