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Old 12-24-2012, 05:08 AM
Nathan Nathan is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 40

Originally Posted by Rjsolo View Post
Thank you. I'm free to answer any questions someone might have. I very much enjoy the lifestyle, but I almost *never* talk about it, because it's very misunderstood. People always assume the husband is going to be wearing panties and tied up in the corner--and I can say that such a thing is as rare as full on dungeons for BDSM people. And most guys would be annoyed if anything of the like was even suggested.
I think people may think that it makes you less of a man, or that your not man enough for your girl. I don't mind that talk when in a sexual situation, it's a turn-on for me. If not having a huge cock and not being able to go for however long you like, and being a dom and a aggressive person sexually makes me less of a man, than I am! However, I know that I am all man, and have enough confidence in myself to not be concerned about such things. The truth is, very few men could perform sexually like Scott does. He is better at sex than I am, its not that big a deal.

Originally Posted by Rjsolo View Post
Myself, personally, it's a very relativistic "submission" scenario. Yes, there is a good deal of teasing and mild humiliation at being subtly compared to a more aggressive and perhaps physically better endowed lover. But the part of the relationship most don't expect is in just about every other aspect of our life, even in terms of sex when her lover isn't around, she is very submissive to me. (It's a pretty complex situation, I don't want to drown anyone in details of a kink unless they wish to discuss it--just using myself as an example.) And, on the whole, I'm not at all "effeminate", even if I am more emotionally "in touch" with her (Not that there is *anything* wrong with guys who are. More power to whatever makes you happy.)
I am always submissive to Aurelie when it comes to sex. I think this is borne out of how that sexual relationship started, and how her love and compassion helped me deal with my P.E problem. I also think that the fact that she has such control over when I cum, also has a lot to do with it. Emotionally we are so very close, and this adds to how we make love. Scott is not in anyway an emotional or affectionate person, although he does try sometimes.

Originally Posted by Rjsolo View Post
Anyway, the big reason I like discussing it with other Polys is that sometimes I find the situation and people that would enjoy playing the more subtle aspects of it, don't ever talk about it because the theatrics of the extremes on the internet scare them off. A lot of the times, ironically, partners who don't want to discuss it are the wives who live in this situation, but they think their guy is all the sudden going to appear in a dress or worse, that he's going to get hurt by it all. When really all he might be looking for is a little dirty talk about her dates and how "thrilling" they were, and is usually secure enough about himself that he knows this type of play isn't threatening to what they already have--rather it's building something new for her (Not unlike the broader concept of poly.)...Nathan and Aur's start, mirrored my wife and I's, and at least a few other couples that I know--so I have to believe it's a pretty common thing among Mono-Poly couples!
The word Cuckold is just a label. Your right, I think it is very common in Mono-Poly couples. I think that there are a lot of girls in poly that prefer having sex with their secondary, but just choose not to say or compare or label it as cuckolding, which is fine, it doesn't matter.

For us, our relationship has been helped by frank honesty. Our love is more intense now, than it has ever been, and the four of us get on great, which undoubtable helps.

Merry Xmas to you.
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