View Single Post
  #4  
Old 12-30-2009, 07:38 AM
JonnyAce JonnyAce is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: NY
Posts: 456
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoPoly View Post
"Ok, well if she's talking to me about this, its because she's found another partner or potention partner." What do I do if she's been with someone and never told me? (I love this woman with all my heart and if I am to be true to that I should be able to find forgiveness in all situations.)
I don't know her, but most poly folk don't come out as poly to a partner b'c they've found someone else, but b'c they want this partner to be aware of what's going on, and because a lot of poly values are based on openness, honesty, and communication. If in fact she's found another partner, or potential partner and hasn't been honest with you, then you need to decide for yourself what that breach in trust, and her dishonesty has done to you, and your relationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoPoly View Post
Should I be aware of her partner(s)? Should I establish my own relationship with them?
I think it's important that I accept them because they contribute to her happiness and her expression.
i agree that it's important that you accept them. as i said before honesty, and openness is a major part of poly, so being aware of them would go along with that. some people say establishing a relationship with one's other loves is important, but if you think you're not ready for that, then just acknowledging them could be enough, but that's a personal preference.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoPoly View Post
Should she tell me anything? Or should I not inquire about her other relationships at all? I don't want to be ignorant of them and I know that's not the correct choice to make.
You've answered your own question here How much you know, is a boundary that the 2 of you will likely have to discuss.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoPoly View Post
We had the discussion about what it might be like if she were to attend an event with another partner that I was to be attending also. How is affection shown? is it shown in front of the other partner? not at all?(that one doesnt sound right)
again you've answered your own question, but also it's another boundary that you will have to discuss between the 2 of you. i think the most important part is talk often about boundaries, and what both of you are comfortable with, within the relationship.

Then again this is just my opinion, there are much wiser people than me on here that will give good advice.
Reply With Quote