As an additional note, I think that sharing the hour-each-way drive with Dexter was good for me. He's just such an authentic and sweet person, and he's struggling with some serious things in his life right now (unrelated to poly). All thoughts of being remotely jealous of him, which had mostly fled after last night anyway, were utterly banished. They may well rear their heads again at some point, but for now he is nothing other than my friend and ally and metamour.
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.