Glad wife is ok! May want to postpone talk for longer than a week tho. That's scary medical news to have to digest!
Having a foursome (casual sex) is not the best doorway to polyamory (a longer lasting, romantic relationship which could have a sexual component in it.) Could that have turned her off when you said that? Not just because she doesn't want group sex, but because it sounded like it was sex only?
That said, it is true. It's not fair of her to want to talk about only her wants, needs, and limits. And not want to hear or discuss where your wants, needs, and limits may lie.
What behaviors of hers make insecure feelings well up in you? Not willing to listen/talk fairly? Anything else?
What behaviors of yours make insecure feelings well up in you? Clinging and looking to her to be your self esteem meter?
Maybe if you list more out it could help point to areas that need resolution? You sound like you found something of a path.
Hang in there.
Last edited by GalaGirl; 12-22-2012 at 11:14 PM.