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Old 12-22-2012, 08:08 AM
amk amk is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 26
Default Wife Ok

Well, after seeing a neurologist, my wife received good news. She doesn't have what they originally thought. "Overwhelming Relief" is the only way I can describe what we are both feeling. She is still experiencing symptoms, but the doctor explained a medication interaction may be to blame.

On the subject of our resumed discussion of the possibility of an open marriage, my wife has taken a strangely frustrating stance. I told her that, for now, I am open to discussion, but that I am not ready to open our marriage to other partners as I need to work on my own insecurities first before I can agree to anything. She seemed crestfallen and immediately closed off to me.

Later, when I reapproached her about my own questions, desires and fantasies, she completely closed off communication and refused to hear anything about what I would want. I had indicated an interest in the possibility of someday trying a four-some (two couples) as a sort of icebreaker into polyamory. She rejected the idea fairly quickly indicating that she isn't interested in having me present for any of her experiences. I asked her if her experiences were all that mattered? How can she expect me to be willing to agree to what she wants when she isn't even willing to discuss what I might want. She dismissed my ideas and hasn't spoken of it since.

I am completely confused by this new stance. While I am trying so hard to be open minded and understand her, she seems to be rejecting any form discussion where I am concerned. It is almost as if she wants me to sign off on her doing what she wants to do without regard to what I might want. Is this spiteful because I put a pin in the Open Marriage idea or is she just uninterested/uncomfortable in discussing what I might want? This is strange to me after she was so open and honest with me about what she wanted.

My wife also identified that I have been clingy around her. I know she's right, but didn't initially no what to do about it. Later, I formed a set of goals designed to help me become more independent.

I realized that I had been far too dependent on my wife for my own emotional stability and self esteem- thus why I was feeling clingy. Having identified the problem and after proactively engaging a solution, I have already noticed results. My wife isn't as annoyed when I'm around and seeks me out to spend time with me (after only 5 days). So, I'm on the road to a better more self-sustained me. Perhaps this is all for my betterment.
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