Just based on what you have posted, if I were in your position my response to HER would likely be:
"I'm sorry that you are feeling that way. Perhaps could you and I could meet up and talk after the hustle and bustle of the holidays are over. I'm free Jan 4/5/6 for coffee or drinks."
Since she was the one who contacted you, and she is the one with the reservations then I would focus on seeing if that is reconcilable first off.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
SLeW: platonic girlfriend + BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe