Just based on what you have posted, if I were in your position my response to HER would likely be:
"I'm sorry that you are feeling that way. Perhaps could you and I could meet up and talk after the hustle and bustle of the holidays are over. I'm free Jan 4/5/6 for coffee or drinks."
Since she was the one who contacted you, and she is the one with the reservations then I would focus on seeing if that is reconcilable first off.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ
My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe