Welcome to our forum.
Your story makes me sad. It sounds like your (ex-)husband's jealousy kicked in, and he gave an ultimatum? I'm glad you gave the marriage one last try.
Re: problems with the Ascension ... I'm curious about that. Would you be willing to elaborate?
Any chance you will re-contact that other lover who was the target of your (ex-)husband's ultimatum? It sounds like you had some pretty intense feelings for him.
You should be able to find many friends here, and people who relate to your situation. Let the Lord be your guide in finding which threads to follow and respond to.
I hope things will work out for you.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"