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Old 12-21-2012, 06:17 PM
blackpixiedust blackpixiedust is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2
Exclamation Wife is Jealous of Me, But I Still Want A Triad

Hello,
I am new here, and am not sure if I am sending this to the right place, but I'll just go anyway.

So, I'm a 21yo female that met a married couple (man and wife) on OkC about two weeks ago who were looking for a triad with another woman. We all chatted for a good week before we met in person and really clicked with each other. The wife and I are bi and pansexual (in the extent that we value deep connections over sex and looks).

When we met, we pretty much hit it off. I met the wife first and we bonded, and then I met the husband and we bonded and we all got together and spent two whole days together. We did become intimate with each other.

We were supposed to go out on a date yesterday, but at the last minute, the wife texted me saying that she was really jealous and insecure about how much her husband liked me and that they couldn't see me anymore.

I was crushed and hurt because from they were telling me about how the last time they tried this, the husband and the girl didn't click, which caused problems, now she is upset because we clicked too much?

But I really like these people and feel like she gave up on this too soon. I've reserached triads and stuff (this is my FIRST TIME btw) and jealousy and insecurity, esp with two females (and one is the wife) is pretty common.

I know for a fact that I do not want to take him from her. I do not like him over her (although I've never been with a woman, so I don't know how to act around her, I'm new to this, but I like her just as much as I like him), I have no desire for marriage or kids (she is a mom to his kids and her son, they have no kids together). I would say I don't mind being a secondary right now, but would like to be equals in the far future. Pretty much, I respect her role as wife in this relationship, and I ONLY want to be there for both of them as an addition, NOT to replace her or her role.

Now, my problem is: what do I do? Do I text her back? I feel like if we talked about this, it would work out. I know she likes me a lot, and I like her too. BUT that is her husband, so I don't want to intrude with my feelings. It's been almost two days now and also I know they are really busy for Christmas and they have issues going on in their lives that I am not apart of. So, should I barge in with my feelings or just wait for a week or two when I know she is more calm and less stressed-out?

Am I wrong for feeling rejected? I feel so bad that she just let me go like this without ALL of us discussing it first...or at least her saying it to my face and explaining to me EXACTLY what she is insecure/jealous about.
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