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Old 12-21-2012, 04:09 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 6,670

"Ooops, sorry I have posted my intro twice and now can't delete the other one."
No worries; accidents happen, and I imagine the moderators can delete the extra post if it's a problem.

"I've never been very good at picking up boyfriends, I've mostly just scared them off, I think by being too keen maybe, and I guess I'm worried about doing this again in this situation."
Heh, I can relate; I've been known to scare off the ladies by being too keen. Back in the good old days ...

I wonder if you could approach it as, asking S where he would like to see the relationship go. Presenting it to him as a question in that way. Of course, I know that's still taking a gamble.

"D said he should just sleep with her anyway, and not worry about it if she falls in love with him because that is her problem, but I disagree with this. I think it will become a problem for S if he encourages her at all and it could probably be avoided if he didn't lead her on in this way."
Yeah, I can understand your concerns. This woman who's after him, is she open to polyamory/non-monogamy? On the other hand, if S isn't interested in her, he should really be honest with her about that.

"I'm also still trying to come to terms with the fact that S may not be exclusive to us ... and struggling a bit with this. Even though we have not been exclusive to him and met him through a swinging site! Double standards I know."
Emotions are not always rational, and it's what you do about them that counts. Push your comfort zone gently, and don't try to rush it. It's not about how it looks to anyone else, it's about what works for you, D, and S. And I do have high hopes for the three of you to have a life together, whatever the details may look like.

"I'm finding that just writing this all down and having people take a bit of interest is of help, so thank you."
You're very welcome.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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