Ooops, sorry I have posted my intro twice and now can't delete the other one.
Originally Posted by kdt26417
Gee; that actually doesn't sound like such a happy ending ... wouldn't you always be haunted wondering what could have been?
Yes I would. Which is one of the reasons why I'm visiting here to try and work out how best to bring up the subject
I am definately concerned about the rose-coloured glasses as I have only met him 5 times now even though that has probably been about 17 hours in his company (not counting much). I've never been very good at picking up boyfriends, I've mostly just scared them off, I think by being too keen maybe, and I guess I'm worried about doing this again in this situation.
There isn't any really any urgency at the moment, and part of me says "just let it continue like it is and see where fate takes us" the other part wants to have a deeper relationship.
When we met a few days ago, he didn't seem to be quite himself. At his initiation (normally it comes from me) we arranged to meet before Christmas and had a great evening. But ... he drank quite a bit while we were there and was also talking about a woman who is after him. He is not interested but feels sorry for her. D said he should just sleep with her anyway, and not worry about it if she falls in love with him because that is her problem, but I disagree with this. I think it will become a problem for S if he encourages her at all and it could probably be avoided if he didn't lead her on in this way. Unfortunately, I didn't really get the chance to tell him my point of view and I feel I now need to wait til the moment is right to broach it with him again.
She was texting him while we were with him. He said it was his daughter but I glanced at his phone at one stage and it definately wasn't his daughter all the time (it was sometimes). That sort of tickled my sick sense of humour in a way because while she was trying to hit on him we were all having a good time and making it really difficult for him to reply
I'm also still trying to come to terms with the fact that S may not be exclusive to us ... and struggling a bit with this. Even though we have not been exclusive to him and met him through a swinging site! Double standards I know. I'm not even sure I would want to be exclusive anymore. I think monogamy if you can call it that with two men, is no longer for me.
He has a lot going on in his life at the moment and I'm trying to be really careful about not hassling him too much. I would like to have more contact even if it is just via facebook or text messages, but am holding back a bit because I don't want to scare him off by being annoying or needy. At the moment I find I start getting anxious if I haven't had any contact with him in a couple of days and have to initiate some, just a status like on facebook is often enough
So ... that's where we are at the moment. He is away for nearly two weeks now, so we won't get to see him until sometime in the new year. We have been talking about a weekend away together which may be an ideal time to bring the subject up ... the hardest part is going to be finding a whole weekend that we all have free
I'm finding that just writing this all down and having people take a bit of interest is of help, so thank you