I am Aphrodite and this seems like a nice place.
Polyamorists seem to have a higher than normal intelligence, and I like that.
I have identified as poly since I was about 29 or so, when I fell in love with one of my best friends, while I was married to my husband. It didn't really go anywhere though I pined over her a long time....I've written about it enough to not want to write about it anymore, though she and I are still very close friends, and while I consider her like a sister to me, I do not have romantic feelings for her anymore. We had variations of 3somes (my [now] ex-husband, her, and me) that were very poly because we both loved her, but her life was fairly drama and it just never worked out.
My ex and I had a weird mix of swinging/poly relationship. Basically, he was into alt relationships being all about the sex (though he emailed and had daily girl'friends'), and I was into the idea of having a triad...springboard....and was/am all about love.
Our last 3some did us in. I fell in love with our lover and he gave me an ultimatum that if I ever talked to him again, it was over. It just wasn't fair, and was more than I could fathom. I felt intense love and longing for this person. I felt something click inside me that night in bed and I knew I was done in my heart with him. I tried to reconcile on multiple occasions in the two years following my separation, mainly due to mothering guilt, but it never got past a phone conversation, or email. After the last time, I knew I had done my best to retrieve and revive my marriage, so I was finally able to lay it down and have closure with it in my heart and mind. I praise God for that because it was Him who led me to try one more time.
So, I am a 44 yo working mom. I am an INFJ (Ni,Fe/Te), lifepath 11, identify predominantly as female, newly born again Christian with problems with the Ascension
, who gets turned on by discipline and control. I am usually domineering, especially with females, and oftentimes males. I am into gender-fluidity in others. It is hard for me to find a male(or female) I can submit to, though that is my preferred state.
I never got to explore that side of myself in my marriage because my ISTP ex was really just about getting laid regularly and often--he wasn't into poly or interested in discussing things of a philosophical nature, though we did have a nice marriage.
I am into serving the Lord and am not looking for hookups or anything like that. I am looking to have friends I can chat with/text with/email with when I have down time.
Thanks for reading~