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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
That's why I don't get involved with people like that. The people I choose to spend my life with accept that I'm selfish with my time and that I only do things on my terms. As was mentioned earlier, this means that when they do get to spend time with me, they know without a doubt that it's because I truly want to be there, and not because I feel obligated.
I think that all comes down to self-esteem. I don't worry that people will get upset if I choose me first. I'm not saying that people won't get upset if I choose me first... just that I don't worry about it  |
You can't choose your parents or grandparents. And even if I could, I prefer more give and take in relationships. When I love someone, I want them to be happy - and all the better if I can be the cause of that happiness. Yes, occasionally that means setting aside what I might want in this very instance. That's not the worst thing in the world. I know they would do the same for me.
And I disagree that it comes down to self-esteem. I can see where it might in some cases (someone co-dependent *needing* to be liked), but sometimes love means not being selfish every minute of the day. *Needing* to have everything on your own terms all the time can be caused by low self-esteem as well.
I'd rather put it in my own words, but Abed said it best:
"Britta, I've got self-esteem falling out of my butt. That's why I was willing to change for you guys. Because, when you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal."
Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
And yeah... SOMEONE is always disappointed and/or offended. Always. You can't please everyone. Ever. And if you always try to please everyone else, you guarantee exactly one thing: that you yourself won't be pleased. So why try?
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Because trying gets better results than not, and at the very least expresses that you care. We'll never fully eliminate crime, does that mean there is no value in trying?