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Old 12-20-2012, 01:53 PM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 373

Marriage use to be about the exchange of property between a father and the man he chose to marry his daughter to; sure I get that its part of history right up there with owning slaves and human sacrifice.

But it isn't about that now. Not to that vast majority of people. Marriage has evolved just like we did. We accept that difference over time but cannot accept this one?

Why? Are you worried people will still see you as property or think of you in those terms? Maybe a bit of worry that you ARE someones property?

It reminds me of a first date one of my male friends went on. He is the king of dry humor, very very liberal and unconventional. His date asked him what he found to be the most important quality a woman in a relationship with him could have. As a joke he stated that he felt a woman should know her place. She stormed out in a huff and nothing he tried to say slowed her down.
I can guess what she assumed he meant by that but really, its a statement relative to the person saying even if you take them to be completely serious. We all kinda need to know what is expected out of us by someone we are seeking a relationship with to gauge compatibility. And she assumed, rather than find out what it meant to him, exactly where HER place was. For some reason she believed her place to be somewhere under his foot and in his kitchen. Not because HE told her that but because SHE THINKS LIKE THAT.

I see modern marriage the same way. Its what you want it to be. That marriage license doesn't come with some enforcer showing up to make sure you are seen as property. Its your mind that will be doing that for you as long as you allow the history to muddle into the present.

So maybe there is a little of that going on here? If you think of yourself as property to be owned by a man if you marry then that IS what you'll be if you marry. Hopefully one day you'll see yourself as more than that enough to believe others will too.
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