Is this your first set of holidays in this polyship? I hear what your parents want, your girlfriend wants, your boyfriend and his extended family want. What do you want to do? Be firm in whatever it is and convey that. Just curious, but you do your families know about your polyship?
It's sweet that Christmas is the anniversary of your first date. However, he cannot have your entire day. Compromise is mandatory. Out of respect for you, your plans for the day, and your other relationship, that may have to change. You have a new person to think of, so it's no longer just the two of you doing your own tradition. If you don't spend any time with her, you're going to end up thinking about her while you're with him. Perhaps you can create a new tradition with both of them. Maybe you can alternate the holidays like some families do. Spend Christmas Eve with your parents and girlfriend. Spend a portion of X-mas working and have lunch with your boyfriend and his family. Spend the evening with both of them if they get along. Be creative. It's a balancing act.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Mr. Grey - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 12 years and father of our (3) children.