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Old 12-20-2012, 09:01 AM
Numina Numina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 139
Default Communication:

If nothing else this last issue Airyn and I had with communication showed him that I'm not the only one who needs to work on this. I had previously explained that the way he has been presenting things to me in many cases comes across very poorly. He very clear saw and understood what was said, how it was presented, and why I got so upset.

Hopefully moments like this will become less frequent.

Tuesday evening in my anger, and outrage I told Airyn I had no interest in going with him and Chipmunk to run her errands. Wednesday morning I apologized for being so angry with him, and asked if he still wanted me to go with them. He said yes, and told me that if I don't go then it skews things even more in Chipmunk's favor. Maybe he actually did hear to me Tuesday when I told him more of an effort needs to be made to equally balance things.

I told him that I want at least equality, and that I feel things really should be balanced in my favor, and should never have been in Chipmunks favor. He says he thought i had agreed that due to my schedule (work/sleep) thing would never be equal or in my favor while we live in this home. I told him no I said it was difficult not impossible. That it could easily be remedied by Chipmunk changing her work schedule to mornings instead of evening. That I know she won't do that, that I know she does not like getting up that early, and I know he won't ask her to do that either.

So he and I did take about an hour walk Wednesday. We left early to walk to pick Wolf up from school, and leisurely strolled around the neighborhood taking pics of homes for sale, and places for rent. He's also talking now about us heading out for time together this Sunday. His Idea, not my suggestion. This feels much better. There is more work to be done of course. At least now I can see Airyn is willing to work with me to fix things. To reconnect with me, and get us back to where we were.

I think our disconnect over sexual intimacy scared him. I have been talking to him about my need for physical touch, for the flirting we used to share, and actual Quality time. That I don't appreciate him coming to me rushed, and hurried for sex. He is seeing that things are off with me if he has offered me no physical touch, or flirting throughout the day, that there is no point to suggesting sex on these days.

Last weekend it was clear he was making an effort to fix this, and aside from Tuesday this week he has been much more attentive. Sadly I won't be seeing much of him today (Thursday) as it is his day with Chipmunk. He knows it makes me a bit sad, and told me to just keep in touch, to bring my computer over to my friends house so we can at least chat a little online. It was nice that he suggested this. Not sure how Chipmunk feels about that idea. I generally try to avoid pulling his attention with messaging during their time alone.
__________________
Bi-sexual female

Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).

No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.

Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
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