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Old 12-20-2012, 07:33 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Well I'm not exactly sure. There is only one that I know of and the rest are who Mono has been talking to (he has talked to the women he is curious about and his female friend too). I don't know what they know other than what I mentioned.

I don't think the way in which Mono wishes to conduct his relationships comes into play when all that they see (assuming, based on my conversations with non-poly people and some stuff he's said) is my sitting here whining about my needs and boundaries when I have several other people to call upon to fill them. The understanding is not there when none of the people he spends time with, talking to, are poly as far as I know or know us at all as a family.

Most people he tells about our dynamic seem to want to know why he doesn't have someone else and why PN doesn't. It seems there is some belief that I am not letting them. I can't do much about that assumption.

From what I understand this has effected Mono's image of himself and part of this began with his need to be free enough to blow them off by saying he could have the same. Thing is that need for freedom seems to of lead to adding to that he wants to have a completely separate life, coming in and out of mine as he chooses when he wants to be near family. Hiding portions of his life from me. It would make him look more presentable to others if he was completely a free spirit with no ties to us other than what HE wants. He could then look better in their eyes perhaps and not have to feel anything negative when they say I am the center of the universe around here and I should suck it up as I am being hypocritical. I think he thinks he has no control and looks wimpy or something. That is for him to talk about though.

I don't want to put words in Mono's mouth. I have been trying not to. I have been trying to speak from where I am so please take anything I say as from that perspective. I can only guess from what he has said. I am not an authority and really unless he says it here himself I would like it if what I say can be considered my interpretation of his words.
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