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Old 12-29-2009, 11:25 PM
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ladyjools ladyjools is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 175

in the end, on the advice of a friend, i phoned my local social services department and spoke to them about it. i am soooo glad i did this! what they told me was very simple - as long as i had at least two years uninterrupted employment and good health before applying then it wouldn't be any problem.

i am only telling you this because i want to suggest that you do similarly and call either social services or a local adoption agency to find out the facts
Thankyou this is really good advice, and at some point i think i will contact them to try and find out more. At the moment this is not on the cards because we just lost a baby, there are major changes happening in my poly family and we would need to be very settled before taking on this responsibility, so it is some years off if we ever do.

although i still haven't adopted, i still plan to. in the intervening years i spend 5 years as childminder for a lesbian couple who have two adopted children. as well as learning from all members of that family i also did a lot of reading from their bookshelves about adoption. many many children who are in need of adoption have complicated histories in one way or another. for example they may have been sexually abused. secrets, for these children, have proved very damaging in their lives, and asking a child to keep any kind of secret about their adoptive family can be really damaging again. social services don't stop being involved the day the kids move in, and the kids often have a strong need for there to be no secrets in their new family. also social services make great efforts to match the children to a suitable family and would need to know as much as possible about your lives in order to do that. i would imagine that being in a poly family would be ideal for some children but not for others and so thats another reason to be as open as you dare during the process
this i totally agree with, and i don't think i would lie about my family situation because i just feel that its not something i should have to lie about and they might need to know so that they can place the child in the best possible home,
if they say that i cannot adopt because i am poly then i will accept that adoption isn't going to be for us, id rather be honest from the start and see what happens.


Last edited by NeonKaos; 12-30-2009 at 03:32 PM. Reason: quote formatting
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