You could choose YOU and meet your own needs ... Be it work or rest or holidaying. While midnight mass only happens at midnight on dec 24? It is not the only year there will be a midnight mass! Same for Xmas dinner or a Xmas concert or whatever. We do not run out of xmases and Xmas things to do or be at.
So there is no need to try to do them all THIS Xmas.
I just laid out our times and plotted rest days in between events. This helps keep us sane. And this means saying NO to some invitations to things because guess what? I value my health and well being.
Saying NO sometimes to partners helps build trust. They can believe you when you say YES that you really mean it, you really want to be there. You are not just saying yes because you don't want to say no and you do stuff you really do not want to be doing. That is not being a solid partner person.
Be a person of your word and don't devalue that currency by watering it down.
They will be disappointed in the moment perhaps, but they could learn to cope. If they cope poorly by whooshing guilt trips at you, that is opportunity for you to hold a mirror up to their behavior. They can look and choose to grow and behave different.
Then you are getting more solid partners too.
nobody will grow in their skills if nobody wants to risk feeling yucky. Growth happens out there on the edge of the comfort zone.
at this time = closed married polyship of 2 with DH.
Chronic patient = fuzzy brain at times. (If I make no sense in a post, just PM me and I'll happily try to clarify it later.)
Last edited by GalaGirl; 12-20-2012 at 04:18 AM.