Greetings from TN
Hello, all. I am a newbie to this lifestyle, although I have lurked in these forums for years. Here's my history.
My wife and I married 15 years ago. A few years after our marriage we started playing around with a couple that my wife had been friends with since High School. She had actually had a few sexual encounters with the husband during high school/college. We all hit it off really well, and eventually we starting separate room swapping. We would do a lot of FMF threesomes. Occassionally we would do same room play. We did this for about 3 years. Then our kids were born and we stopped this play.
A few years after our kids were born my wife had an affair. This hit me really hard, because it was so out of the blue. I confronted her about it and she lied and covered up as much as she could until I had definitive evidence. Then she was very remorseful and agreed to marriage counselling. We did this for about a year and gradually got over this and life resumed.
About a year ago we both decided we missed the kind of play we did with that first couple, and we joined a swinging website and started exploring the swinging lifestyle. We had some great times with a few couples. Eventually my wife mentioned that she missed a lot of the separate room play we used to do, but that is not very prevalent in the swinging community, so we decided to open our marriage. She has since had at least four FWB's, and I have had one (it's much more difficult for guys to find FWB's than girls).
A few months ago she mentioned that one of her FWB's she started developing feeling for, and vice versa. He is separated, about to finanalize his divorce. I have thought about polyamory for a long time. I could see myself loving another woman, if I found the right woman.
Right now I'm dealing with wife's NRE, which includes seeing him a couple times a week and almost non-stop texting. I'm trying to be mature about it, but this is all new to me. I'd like to think she'd deal with it well when I meet a lady I feel the same about. I haven't met the guy yet, and she's been hesitant to introduce me to him, saying she's got to find the right social environment, and that just the three of us having dinner or something would be too awkward. I don't think it would, necesarilly, but sh'es agreed to invite him to a party we're hosting in a few months.
Any advice from any of you veterans? I'm not entirely sure the best way to proceed with this lifestyle. Have I made any mistakes? Anything to look out for?